The other day, a freind of mine said that he thought that I looked fine at the weight I'm at right now. I've been thinking a lot about that today, mostly. I'm not where I want to be. I want to be where I was a few years ago.. and I'm over halfway there now.
I wasn't sickly or anything when I was at my "deal weight" but I often wonder what it would be like if I could see myself lined up against a wall many,many times. I wish I could see myself lined up at 6-month incriments since my freshman year of college, spanning all the way until now. I really don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but it makes me think.
I've already dropped 4 pant sizes. That makes me happy. I still have 3-4 more to go to be able to fit in all my older clothes. I don't know if I'll make it. If I stay on the diet, I should. In fact, I should be able to make it to my ideal weight. (In highschool, I was only about 5-10 lbs above my ideal weight, and that's not bad considering how much junk food I ate 24/7) I'm definitely doing this for myself. I mean, I haven't felt physically attractive in a long time. Akuma tries his best, he really does.. but he's biased :P I want to turn heads again. I think my face is pretty attractive.. I just want to get the rest of my body to come out of hiding. It's nice already to be able to fit in smaller clothes. I'm wearking a pair of jeans right now that I bought about 6 months ago. When I bought them, they were a little snug, but I didn't drop the weight like I figured I would. I probably only wore them once or twice, and now they're rather baggy. It makes me feel bad, b/c I think of all the money I've wasted by getting fat. All these clothes that didn't get worn all that much b/c I was too big for them.. and now, I'm losing so much that I'll only wear them for a few months before they're too big. Granted, I love wearing baggy pants, but some jeans wern't meant to be worn that way.. :}
In any case.. it's probably somthing I could contemplate forever. It's a drastic enough change to make significant mark in my self-image.
In other news.. SAITHE-chan, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU???
Man.. I know she knows about Duel Jewel coming to the US and playing at A-kon this year. I know she'll probably be there.. And it's definitely not everyday you get to meet the people on your LJ freinds-list. It would have been nifty if I could have told her the happy news.. but she's MIA! WHERE ARE YOU, SAITHE-CHAN?!?! I know she's around, b/c she's on some of the same MLs I'm on. Heck, she just joined a visual indies club within the last few months.. where is that girl?!?!