HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face

  • Mood:

My cat is satan.

Not much happening here anymore. After the parties and the tests of the past two weeks, there isn't really anything happening here at all. The worst part is.. I'm sitting around the house, doing nothing, and feeling really guilty. I feel like I should be doing somthing. Mind you, I've been doing housework, etcetc, but it doesn't really feel like anything.
The other day, a freind of mine said that he thought that I looked fine at the weight I'm at right now. I've been thinking a lot about that today, mostly. I'm not where I want to be. I want to be where I was a few years ago.. and I'm over halfway there now.
I wasn't sickly or anything when I was at my "deal weight" but I often wonder what it would be like if I could see myself lined up against a wall many,many times. I wish I could see myself lined up at 6-month incriments since my freshman year of college, spanning all the way until now. I really don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but it makes me think.
I've already dropped 4 pant sizes. That makes me happy. I still have 3-4 more to go to be able to fit in all my older clothes. I don't know if I'll make it. If I stay on the diet, I should. In fact, I should be able to make it to my ideal weight. (In highschool, I was only about 5-10 lbs above my ideal weight, and that's not bad considering how much junk food I ate 24/7) I'm definitely doing this for myself. I mean, I haven't felt physically attractive in a long time. Akuma tries his best, he really does.. but he's biased :P I want to turn heads again. I think my face is pretty attractive.. I just want to get the rest of my body to come out of hiding. It's nice already to be able to fit in smaller clothes. I'm wearking a pair of jeans right now that I bought about 6 months ago. When I bought them, they were a little snug, but I didn't drop the weight like I figured I would. I probably only wore them once or twice, and now they're rather baggy. It makes me feel bad, b/c I think of all the money I've wasted by getting fat. All these clothes that didn't get worn all that much b/c I was too big for them.. and now, I'm losing so much that I'll only wear them for a few months before they're too big. Granted, I love wearing baggy pants, but some jeans wern't meant to be worn that way.. :}

In any case.. it's probably somthing I could contemplate forever. It's a drastic enough change to make significant mark in my self-image.

In other news.. SAITHE-chan, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU???

Man.. I know she knows about Duel Jewel coming to the US and playing at A-kon this year. I know she'll probably be there.. And it's definitely not everyday you get to meet the people on your LJ freinds-list. It would have been nifty if I could have told her the happy news.. but she's MIA! WHERE ARE YOU, SAITHE-CHAN?!?! I know she's around, b/c she's on some of the same MLs I'm on. Heck, she just joined a visual indies club within the last few months.. where is that girl?!?!


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