HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face

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Thinking about Tokio...

How does anyone guage whether or not they are normal? Tokio-san was making me think... Sometimes I wish I could trade for a normal pair of eyes....I'm only 20, and my eyesight is so horrid that I can't see anything clearly unless it is closer than a foot from my face...It's not so bad when I wear contacts, but... When I take them out, it's like facing my own mortality. People wern't made to live 80 years+. Some people's bodies start giving up before they reach maturity. It really disturbs me when I realize that I may quite possibly be blind by the time I'm 40. I suppose that may be one of the many things that drew me towards the Vampire Chronicles... I suppose everyone loves a permanent cure-all. I always loved how she romanticized her characters. It's those kinds of writers that can sometimes make me think. If I were "cursed," as it were, with vampirisim in the form manifested in teh vampire chronicles, what would it be like? Simple thoughts like that can keep me busy all day. I'll start off wondering what kinds of health problems would dissappear... even ones I probably don't even notice... Or what it would mean to everyone I know if I was "dead" to the world... to what kinds of things one would preoccupy themselves with for eternity. I suppose that's another romantic aspect about it: A way to escape life entirely, but not have to die and stop experiencing it. That's part of the irony in it... You can have enhanced senses an no end to your experiences in life... but to do this, you need to sever what you cling to entirely. When you get down to it, how many people would do that if they realized the gravity of their situation? This is somthing I think about from time to time. The longer I live, the more I get wrapped up in life. Life ties you down, entangles, and complicates things. It makes it harder to let go. Perhaps that's why older people have problems understanding why the younger ones commit suicide for no apparent reason. Of course, we do have older individuals that commit suicide, but isn't that just a desperate attempt to loose oneself from years and years of bindng oneself to a set pattern in life? Humans are short-lived critters that don't like change. I don't know why, but I have a lot on my mind tonight. I suppose I'll let you go, and stop rambling for a while...(Odd... that was origionally a typo- rampling...one of Anne Rice's Pseudonyms... isn't life funny? Humans so dislike change and things of the extraordinary that they seek patterns in anything... Hell.. why else would people cut open an animal and look at the guts therein to try to divine the future?)


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