HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face
kyonomiko

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Random.. blank.. bored...but a good cook, I hope...

I'm not sure how I feel about "settling down"
I don't know how the people that know me in real life feel about me...but If I had to guess, I'd probably say that they think of me as outspoken, stubborn, and maybe just a bit fearless. I don't know. If you've known me at all IRL, go ahead and reply. Tell me what you think of me, bad points& all. I'm curious.
I used to be so shy. I can honestly say that if it hadn't been for the internet, my entire life would probably be different. So it makes me sound lame... and like a total computer geek... but it wasn't until I got behind the computer that I really had the courage to speak my mind. I had no confidence in my jokes, and was really just an outcast from life in general. W/the internet, you can be someone else. You can be outspoken, and you don't have to look people in the face. You can think a bit about your jokes before you reply, b/c you have to type them. For me, instead of being anti-social on the computer, I felt it's been a real tool in my social coming-of-age. So I sound stupid. I can't say I'm as well-adjusted.. lots of childhood memories that I need to forget. Maybe I'll rant about those next time.. but what I really wanted to talk about was... domestic in nature...heh
Since I was little, it was always taken for granted that I'd go to college and be successful. I mean, both of my parents are teachers, and both have a master's degree (and more...lots of college.. I couldn't handle that much education) But.. as time progressed, I began to realize that I don't nessesarily need to become one of these gung-ho educated career women in order to be happy. I've always thought that all I'd need was a kind& loving husband who could support me, and I'd stay at home and take care of the house, cook, clean, etc. Now to some of you, it may not sound like much of a life.. But for me.
I don't know. I've always done well on the IQ tests. I nearly always test over 150, but that doesn't mean I have to go into medicine, law, or physics. It's just always been really hard for me to figure out what I wanted to do with myself.
Now, this past summer, I've had a chance to play house, if you will. I've been perfecting my quiche recipie.. cooking little hot sandwiches here and there, and cleaning up the house. It's been satisfying, but even if I were to spend the whole day cleaning.. let's face it. The house can't possibly get that dirty w/two people living in it. So.. I've been bored. I need to find somthing to do. School is going to start up soon again, and even when I'm done with that.. it's just a "given," if you will.. that I get a job. That's what everyone expects. I do have to pay off my college loans, etc...
A few of my older freinds& family are horrible, though.. "Marry a rich guy& get him to pay off your loans" or "Your boyfreind has money? Marry him!"
Sounds bad, huh?
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