So this week, it'll be a whiny post. There hasn't been a super emo whiny post in a while, so I guess it's overdue.
Here are some differences this weight loss thing has made:
When I was heavier: I didn't feel the bloat. I didnt' really care. Nothing ever fit right anyway.
-50 lbs: It's about that time of the month soon. I feel huge and gross. As opposed to not normally feeling so huge and gross.
When I was heavier: I pooped like a champ. It was timely and predictable
Now: NOTHING WORKS PROPERLY DOWN SOUTH. SRSLY. WTF. Everything but my urethra is highly unpredictable. The doc says this is normal during long periods of significant weight loss. He suggested I try acidophilus. I bought some, but I keep forgetting to take it. I tried the Jaime Lee Curtis poop yogurt, and it tastes gross. We shall not be eating it again!
When I was heavier: A full bladder meant nothing!
When I was thinner: If I held it too long, my pants wouldnt' fit quite right. After a large, satisfying pee, my clothes got looser O..o That's starting to happen again, so I know I'm going in the right direction
I've been pretty congested lately and it makes me sad. I stopped taking my Flonaise because the nosebleeds were making the congestion worse. I tried to blow my nose, and my right ear stopped up and I felt the worst kind of nausea and vertigo for like 15 min after. It slowly got better over a few days until I forgot about it and stupidly blew my nose again. Now it feels stuffy and plugged up again, no vertigo.
To make matters worse, I somehow aggrivated my TMJ area yesterday, on the same side as the screwed up ear. So now my jaw hurts, I can't open my mouth without pain, my ear is plugged up and I'm feeling generally crotchety and miserable.
I did my strength training DVDs last week, and couldn't finish any of them. This was the first full week of strength training since D*C. It was like starting over agian! I've had sore muscles all this week. Combined with the bloat, I'm back up 2 lbs, and it makes me sad.
I know this is all water from muscle inflammation and womanly things, so I expect things to go back down to normal next week. Until then, I'm going to whine and be grumpy.
I haven't been able to sleep through the night in forever, either! I almost always get tired enough to want to be in bed by 10-10:30. I'd LIKE to sleep in until 7:30. I wake up 4-5 times through the night and have trouble sleeping past 5AM :/ I keep trying to stay up until 11 or so, since I think I'm probably getting to bed a little too early, but I feel so wiped out from not getting a solid night's sleep. Plus, the cats take turns beating me up starting sometimes as early as 5AM
Heaven was the high calorie Sat where I allowed myself to eat a real grilled cheese sandwich with some tomato soup. Normally, I wouldn't be able to swing two peices of buttered bread with a thick slab of meunster AND soup. I love my weekly high calorie day. Even the extra 100-200 cal in lunch and dinner make a huge difference. I am still not sure about this whole calorie cycling thing, but I think the one day a week where I go up a little helps my sanity. I normally run 1400-500 cal/day, and on high cal days, it's usually in the ballpark of 1800 cal, which is still below my current maintenance level for my weight. So technically I can still lose on those days. Heck, depending on what calculator you look at, as long as I'm below 2300 and still exercising every day, I'm below maintenance :P
Sometimes I wonder if I should try eating around 1600/ day instead and see how that works. Goodness knows I want to eat way more food. I don't think I'm in starvation, though. There are some days where it's really easy to do the 1400/ day. It's usually after a high calorie day that it's really difficult to get the calories back down. It is a mystery!
Anyway, I'm going to keep working hard, even if I'm grumpy as heck. Today, I need to get the bike done so I can go out and run errands. I need to drop off a big bag of clothes at goodwill. I cleaned a bunch of stuff out of the closet that doesn't fit anymore. That makes me happy. It made room for all the stuff I got from Tania. Now it's full again XD I also need to get down to the post office. I have 3 boxes I need to mail. I'm sending out the Edward costume I bought yeaaaarrss ago from gentileschi to Tania. Ray never quite fit in it properly because it was too... male. I think it will fit Tania, though.. and then I'll wear Tellah. (She's dragging me to ikkikon!) Tellah is humorously big, but with that costume, I don't imagine it'll matter. I may put some eyelets in the slit in the blouse and run a rattail cord through it. Too bad I lined that damned thing. I'd really like to take it in by like 4 inches XD I need to figure out how to fix that goddamned collar once and for all.
I am also sending some of my nicer Lane Bryant stuff to a larger girl that reads my diet journal. She's working her way down into my range, and it should be a nice boost of confidence. Plus, I don't know anyone else around town that would wear any of the wacky crap I wear and want this stuff.
3rd box is 6 months late.. lol. It's a small pile of harry potter and lotr DVD promo pins that I've been meaning to send out to G-dawg (totally not her real name).
I'll go out, drop crap off at goodwill, mail those boxes, pick up a box... I have something waiting for me from Hong Kong? I don't even remember what. It's gotta be cosplay related, but I can't think what. I also need to make a second trip to the grocery store to pick up all the stuff I forgot to put on the list yesterday... and I need to pick up my sewing machine.
While I'm out, I'll probably treat myself to some Jamba Juice for lunch. It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but I can have a really tasty and filling protein shake for under 400 cal. Doing a protein shake for breakfast, too, so I dunno. I don't like doing liquid meals in the first place, but I do like Jamba Juice, and that place is right next to the Bernina shop.
Oh, and I need to put gas in the car. You see this? None of these are fun things to do!
In other news, I finally relented, and started ordering stuff for that Luca costume. We're doing... two sets of FF IV costumes for Ikkikon? lololol. I decided this was going to be super ghetto. I looked forever for a pink visor for After Years Lucca. I got it, but I'm not 100% happy with the wig, and I feel too lazy to sew the pink jumper. So.. I decided to order a pink velour tracksuit! LOLOLOLOLOL. I will only have to make the bag/ harness, the gloves& the boots. And I have to do ganguro makeup. I'm kind of stuck on that, but I'm sure I can find a tutorial online somewhere. It looks like the white on the eyes and lips is a concealer stick? I tried using ben nye, but that doesn't stick on the lips at all!