Unfortunately, I don't know if it's going to be a good idea to listen to right now. A lot of Erasure's stuff is happy and bouncy, and I got really motivated to work on my novel tonight. I know it's a week early, but it's not like I'm doing the NaNo challenge proper anyway, right? >..<
The challenge itself is just to get you writing.. and I'm writing, so it's all good?
I don't know. I feel like everyone that I know who participate is so much more experienced and motivated and driven or whatever. I've always been a kind of directionless, shiftless kind of person, so I feel good just working on it, even though I doubt anything will ever come of it. I mean, it's not like I have aspirations to be a writer or anything. I do like to daydream. Like if somehow it did get published, I'd be all like "Oh no! Now I have to write some other stuff!" and then it'll feel like school where I'm under a lot of pressure and buckle and get nothing done instead.
I always felt so awful about that. I made my english teacher cry once because when I WOULD complete assignments, I'd get awesome grades.. but I just never got stuff done. I'm probably one of the laziest people you'll ever meet, as long as you don't catch my during a Hoarders marathon. (Hoarders marathon: I clean like crazy, yo!)
But this is somthing I really want to finish. I'd like to get it done and send it out and say, "Here, I made this. This is somthing I wanted to say"
But the creative attentionwhore in me is also saying "Here, I have a large and fragile ego. You need to read it and love it and praise me so I feel like I didn't waste my time " -..- I mean, that's what cosplay is about, right?? -..-
Did I ever post a synopsis of the story for you guys? It's weird. I haven't really thought about working on it from February until now (in fact, that's the last time I cracked open the txt file), but thinking about it for NaNo has made me really excited about it. It's weird feeling like I WANT to work on somthing when all other writing I've ever done has been for assignments, papers, etc blah blah blah. And really, why am I trying writing in the first place? Because once a long time ago a few people told me they thought I was good at it and would like to see what I could do if I set my mind to it. I'm so easily swayed when I'm complimented -..- Years later, here I am doing somthing I never would have thought to do on my own except for the fact that sometimes I write down weird dreams and strange ideas and wonder what it would be like if I was some sort of rock star author like Neil Gaiman >..>