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16 September 2011 @ 08:58 am
I spoke too soon (and bonus World of Warcraft rant, since I rarely make you guys read that shit)  
Seriously, like the day after my last post, it got hot out, and it's been hot out ever since. People are saying it'll be triple digits through the rest of the week, then we'll get a week in the 90's, then it'll finally start to cool off for fall. I had a dream last night where I needed to wear a jacket. Blasphemy!

There are so many cute things you can do with scarves and hoodies that I just can't do here though. WTB cooler weather.

I messed my wrist up a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how. It felt sore and inflamed, so I figured I just bent it wrong, or I was pushing down on the trash can and hurt it or somthing. It still isn't working right, though. It's not really painful unless I bend it very specific ways, so I forget there's somthing wrong with it until I hurt it again XP It's prevented me from doing my bench presses on the weight machine, since bending the hand that far back and putting pressure on it is what hurts. I may just start doing free weight bicep curls just so I'm doing SOMTHING to keep from losing the muscle.

Aside from that, I've been really busy helping Beth with wedding planning and stuff. Every time I come up with a fun bridal activity for us, somthing I can treat her to, she shoots me down. Hair? Nope. Nails? Nope. Eyebrows? Nope. Finally I decided I wanted to buy her wedding jewelry since she's got a sleeveless, strapless, and nothing to wear with it. When we first talked about jewelry, she said she didn't have any, didn't know how to shop for any, and didn't want any. Everyone pretty much told her it would look really nice if she at least had a necklace, so she kind of caved there. I got really frustrated and yelled at her yesterday because shewasn't letting me do anything for her XD I was tired of getting shot down every time I thought of somthing nice, so she's going to let me buy her jewelry.

Zales is having a big sale right now, and all the pearls are 40% off. I can get a necklace/earring set for about 200, if you don't include the warranty plan. That's about around what I wanted to budget for her wedding gift anyway, so I'm going to do it. She can get the protection plan later I guess. It feels kind of tacky leaving it off, but if I don't set a budget for myself, no one will XP Honestly, I figured I'd just be able to afford a cheapish necklace, and that was it, so I was pleasantly surprised that I could get a silver pendant with a single pearl and matching earrings for that price. It's awesome. They also had a huge honkin' opal ring on clearance for 75 bucks. I loved it, but there were pale blue stones on either side, and that's not really me. :X I really loved that 400 dollar opal ring at the renfaire, but I couldn't talk myself into buying it. Even though it was gold and custom, that's a lot to spend all in one place. Matt txted me later that day and told me to get it, but I think I was already barfing in the parking lot by then. (Heatstroke, yay!)

So today, I'm helping with more wedding stuff. Tomorrow, we're going to a birthday party for one of Matt's coworkers. She's really cool, but I really have no idea what to get her. Then sun/mon I have evening WoW raids. That's really stressing me out...

I never wanted to be a raid leader again. I get frustrated easily, and I try my best not to yell at people or be mean. When I used to lead 20 mans in vanilla, I decided I never wanted to do it again. After I left my old raiding guild with the start of Cata, I decided to get all my freinds in one guild together, and maybe we'd do somthing once or twice a week or somthing. I got a lot of people that were experienced raiders already, and I figured it'd be a nice, organic process where everyone worked together and the thing pretty much led itself. Nope! If someone isn't there telling everyone when to scratch their balls, they just sit there writhing uncomfortably in their seats all night wondering WTF is going on.

I have to remind them to buff, I have to tell them to pull, I have to read DBM out loud in vent. These are all important things, and things a raid leader must do. That's pretty much a given. And to give my guys credit, when I give them a 5 minute break and tell them "Go watch a video and learn this fight," most of them do. But somehow over time, it stopped being this cooperative process and now I feel like I have to tell them how to do every little thing. People arn't calling things out anymore. Shaman arn't the best healers this expansion, and I'm seriously underperforming because I'm like the boss timer comentator, having to tell everyone what ability is going on, and how they're going to die because they are standing in it. GAH

So.. since we had summer vacations going on, lots of people were going in and out of the group. It was really stressful trying to keep the group filled with a balance that would get us anywhere in the dungeons. So now people are quitting because it's getting too hard and we haven't killed anything new lately. What's themost frustrating is that I really feel no one is helping me out here. I don't even want to be organizing this trained monkey circus, but if I don't do it, no one will. We need someone that likes doing this sort of thing to handle leading it. When people log out during raids because they are pissed off, they are only thinking about themselves. (THANK YOU ASSHOLE MAIN TANK) They arn't thinking about anyone other than themselves. Then 9 other people are sitting around wondering what we're going to do next. And who's job is it to fill the spots to keep everything going? Yup. :/

So that tard took off, and our other tank has vacation time coming up, and I'm short two tanks for all our progression content for the next 4 raids. Does the jerk who took off think about that? Not at all. He doesn't give a shit that I spend all my free time stressing about how I'm going to make it happen. He doesn't think about how his idiot freinds with bad attendance and low DPS whisper me all the time whining to get into the raids. He doesn't even know about half the other shit that goes on. Just to make things happen, I have to tell people all the time that they can't come, or I'll promise to get them in next time, etc.

We have people that just stop showing up because they don't get a spot 100% of the time. So when the people that do show up all the time decide they want to take time off, I don't even have the flakey attendance people to cover spots. :/

It feels like a job and it shouldn't. We just don't have any motivated individuals who feel like leading this shit. I feel too much pressure to just quit, too. And it ruins my night when I forget we've got a raid and I have to drop everything and lead one. There have been many times I wasn't able to finish cooking dinner, or even eat because people were waiting on me to start everything. Sometimes when dinner gets done, it just sits in front of me and gets cold because nothing happens unless I'm leading everything. My cousin said he'd help, but his work hours got crazy, and he spends a lot of time with his girlfreind, so he doesn't really log on at all anymore. No one else has even offered to help out.

It's all really aggravating and I hate this game now and I don't want to play it anymore. This is the first time ever that Matt's been able to raid regularly, though, so I feel like we need to keep going a while longer. All the other years we've played WoW, he's been working nights and unable to go. Major raiding guilds don't want to deal with someone that can only be there every other week. They wouldnt' even give him a chance as DPS, which I think was kind of bullshit. I take whoever whenever they can make it, as long as they learn the fights and work on their gear as they can.

He was also picked to be the dude who gets to make the legendary staff, too.. so I know he'll be sad if that never happens.

I really do think we'll be quitting when Diablo III comes out later this year. I don't know. Knowing Matt, he'll just keep the accounts active, and we'll end up logging in anyway. Heroes of Might& Magic should finally be releasing next month, but I'm still going to have to go raid between playing that.

I've been playing the beta, and it's fun. It's got a lot of bugs that I hope they fix by release, though. I hate having to exit out of the game complately and restart just so I can move the screen... and I got really frustrated when the game crashed yesterday and it corrupted every single save file and I had to start the map over again. (I swear I was winning, too. The game cheats.)

Between all this stuff going on, I feel like I haven't had a chance to hang out with Matt much, and it makes me sad. I hope things calm down by next week, but I have a feeling things will just be hectic until October. -..-

And I still havent' slept well in months.
Current Mood: tiredtired