HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face
kyonomiko

I have discovered I have a new pet peeve

People who don't sleep between the sheets.

Seriously.

I feel like I need to print out some sort of instruction card for the bed and put it in the guest bedroom. Most of the male guests we've had do not bother to lift the blankets up to sleep between the sheets.

What the fuck are sheets for, people? It's not just a word you use when you want a racist sounding way to say "shit."

Sheets are a great invention. They keep the mattress and your quilts mostly free of human soil. You can wash them, and then put them back without having to launder your mattress or your quilts. Hell, if you don't mess up your quilts, you can get away with washing them only once a year or so. (I have a cat and a husband that drools, so they get washed about twice a year)

I don't care if you just took a shower. People are filthy creatures. That's why we have things like socks and underwear and sheets. We need to protect things from ourselves. We wear gloves to keep our nastiness off of old books. Just touching things with your bare skin will ruin them over time.

I don't want your naked sweaty asses rolling all over my duvet cover >:O

Last time I had a guest that slept on top of the duvet, I had a cow. Why can't we have nice things?!?! That's why we can't have nice things!! I had forgotten to satin stitch the damned thing, so when I washed it to get his stank off it, it fell apart. I spent the better part of a day putting it back together again. I had the foresight to reinforce all the seams really well that time, because hey.. if someone tards out once, someone else will tard out again.

I'm crossing my fingers that when I wash the cover this time, none of the satin seams will slip. I used all unholy methods of seam binding last time, including overly complex finishing stitches, so I have high hopes for it's survival.

I just wish people knew how to fucking sleep in beds.
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