Anyway.. I'm working on a big action scene right now. I'm having a bit of trouble with it. I'm also having a bit of trouble with everything in general, but I'm still making my personal goals every day. I hit 14k words today. The wordprocessing program I'm using says that it's just under 60 pages. I'm just under the 1/3 mark, and wrapping up pretty much.. the first third of the book. Almost halfway there :P
Everything feels like it's droning on and on in some sort of craptacular writing limbo, but I know I'm trying very hard to have a lot of variety with a deliberate sequence of events and preplanned plot and all that. It's really strange. When I sew, and I know I'm making somthing mediocre, I can see it in my hands that it's less than awesome. I can say "This looks pretty damned good, and it will impress a lot of people, but I cut a lot of corners, and I know it's crap."
With this writing project, though, it's almost the opposite. I'm looking at it, and I can't tell if it's good or bad, but I feel that it's bad.. and I'm certain other people won't think it's as bad as I think it is XD So it's more like "This probably isn't as bad as I think it is, I tried my hardest, I don't know if it's actually any good or not, but I think it's crap"
But yeah... it's definitely an interesting process. I'm sure it will be very fulfilling when I am done. I'm going to be terrified to show it to anyone.... so I'll probably let people read it right away after I finish the first draft. I think it would hurt worse to spend a lot of time revising it and then having it shot down :P Better to get the harsh words out of the way early XD Then I'll know if it's even worth investing any more time into it.
But hey.. I can say I wrote a novel!
It kind of reminds me of a like from "A Talk With George" by Jonathan Coulton
"You should write a book or two and start a magazine even if it never makes a dime"