melancholyMaybe that's why 1001 Nights makes me excited..
Then again.. I keep chosing obscure things to be proud of. Why do this if I want recognition? It's probably because if I choose somthing obscure, I don't have to try very hard to do anything with it...and then I can gather my praise without effort. It's all very shameful, really. However.. I also get the luxury of self-pity when no one knows what the hell I'm talking about. I suppose ever since I was younger, it was always about the pity.. self pity, pity from others.. It's just all fake love. When you're pitied, you can lull yourself into beleiving people care about you. For years, I've known this, and I do think I'm getting better about not manipulting people so much.. but it's always been a battle, because oftentimes I do it.. know I'm doing it, and feel powerless to do anything about it. Doshite? Doshiyou? ::sigh:: This is really an old topic to rant about.. and I'm probably just bringing it up to see what people have to say...Of course.. How many of you would have responded to this before I mentioned the fact that I was probably doing this for self-pity? And who will respond to it anyway, knowing that if no one responds, I'll just have another excuse to pity myself? You can't get out of it... that's my trap.... Whether I like it or not.
