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05 May 2008 @ 05:03 pm
Day 1, Month 2- 0 days missed  
Today was weigh in day. I've been dreading it since last week. I've had a horribly bad week fighting with food, but all I can really do is just try a little harder to cook more and resist the urge to snack on unhealthy things.

The results of the weigh in were really dissappointing. I was trying to be realistic with my goal. I figured I woudln't lose any more than 5-7 lbs, and it would probably be less than that. I also figured that I would lose a few inches in various places.. or half an inch, etc, whatever. I expected a total loss of inches to be in a whole number range less than 4.

Unfortunately, none of my measurements really changed. I gained two pounds, and lost about an inch off my ass. If I had to choose a place to lose, I would pick my ass anyway, so I guess that's good news. I also figured my weight loss would be minimal because I'd be building muscle. I'm assuming I basically didn't lose any weight at all this month despite working out and eating healthier because I was packing on muscle. I didn't think I would gain weight from it. I guess I really hoped I would have more substantial physical proof that the massive effort I've been putting out to keep regular with this, remember my vitamin and calcium every day, etc. I am really having a hard time feeling confident about it, though. I've been drinking water instead of soft drinks.. I've been eating so much more raw food than I used to, etc. (not meat. lawl... Unprocessed fruits& veggies.. more steamed veggies... etc). For the first two weeks I had a pretty good habit of eating a peice of fruit or having some yogurt or somthing when I got the munchies, but my sleep schedule has been all over the place since then and I've started to snack a little more on bad things like croissants and gummi bears. I'm not binging on ice cream, though, at least. I really need to find some sort of discipline in the home. I do feel that I've made minimal progress, but it's not enough to help me EASILY keep my confidence.

To top things off, even though today was our weigh in day, my work out partner insists that hers isn't until next week. Our trainer had reminded us two weeks ago that our 1 month was coming up... and it's been one month My partner says her one month measurement day isn't for like another week. I tried to get her to do it because we both signed up on the same day, got our first initial measurement on the same day, and got set up on the tags on the same day. It just makes perfect sense to me that she gets measured with me on the same day. But today she was like 40 min late and refused to do the measurement thing after I'd told her I did it, and shared my less than ideal results. It's really disheartening that I suddenly feel that I don't really have a partner in this anymore. It's been really hard for someone as undisciplined as me to set to a regular schedule for 4 weeks and not procrastinate or try to move work out days later in the week, or anything else that I was famous for doing in college with my assignments.

I plan on going tomorrow like usual, though... But I don't really feel happy or excited about it :( I'm going because we have a 1 year contract and I'm hoping deep down that it will be worth it and I'm really actually doing somthing good for myself with tangible results, even if I'm not seeing any yet.

Matt says I have to be patient, and that's like the worst possible thing to say because I'm probably one of the laziest, least patient, most stubborn people you'll meet. I know he's trying to cheer me up, but the lazy part of me says "it's too much work to keep going and actually be SOMEPLACE at SOMETIME consistantly", the impatient part say "Why keep going when it really didn't seem to do anything for me?" and the stubborn part basically wants me to stubbornly give up if someone tells me to hang in there, just be be obnoxious and contrary.

I'm not going to quit, but it just doesn't feel that productive. I always go at it hardcore and come out feeling like I'm dying. Some days my muscles are a little sore, and I space my days out. I don't know. I kinda feel like I need a personal trainer here telling me how to live every minute to keep me from messing myself up. Oh, and did I mention that it really stings that my workout partner wouldn't even get measured with me again? Note that I didn't post my specs here, just the result.. but I told her *everything* :/
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
CEO, Air Perv: hide muddy and sexyzoi_no_miko on May 5th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
:( *hugs*

Are you doing curves, by chance? I've heard people say that the working out part isn't ideal for a lot of weight loss b/c it's only 30mins, and that's pretty much what you need to maintain.
I've been trying to do 30-60min aerobic activity a day on my own - realistically it ends up being about 4 times a week, lol.
Curious, are you PCOS?
HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 6th, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
No, I'm not PCOS. I know a lot of people who have it though? :O
I am doing curves, but I had like.. 0 physical activity before I started. They recommend going in 3 times a week, and I go in 4. My weight has stabilized the past year or two, and I haven't really gained, so in theory the addition of what will seem like massively new ammounts of physical activity coupled with eating better should, (in my mind)= exciting ammounts of weight loss? I could be doing some cardio on my bike thing on my off days I guess.. but with 3 days off from curves spread through the week, I'm not sure how much rest my muscles need to recover. I go at it pretty hardcore there, and I don't leisurely lift doodads like some of the elderly women there do
Ringoapplcheeks on May 5th, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
I know your probably tired of me saying it but Weight Watchers works!
It's not just about eating more veggies, portion size and eating habits are huge but with WW there are lots of ways to eat what you like. They usually let you try a while for free, you can even do it online.

HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 6th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
I may check it out if I go another month with no progress. I don't know much about them other than that everything gets a magical point value, and there are these great looking drooling leeches in one of the commercials that is very endearing to me
Leica 麗香pinkspider on May 5th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
This might seem an odd question, but are you getting enough calories? Contrary to common misconception, cutting massive amount of calories is NOT an effective way to lose weight. Your metabolism slows and your body fights against the perceived starvation. You end up barely losing, staying the same, or worst yet actually gaining weight.
HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 6th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
No, I'm not cutting out any calories or starving myself. I know that not eating enough causes the body to hoard fat. I'm aiming to stay at about my regular caloric intake for now, just adjusting the proportions of fats/roughage/crap I take in. I do eat too many calories, but cutting down a ton all at once will not help me
Leica 麗香pinkspider on May 6th, 2008 05:18 am (UTC)
Very good to hear. ^_^ So then.. I wonder what the problem is? You might have a food allergy/sensitivity, that can make it hard to drop weight. Food sensitivities can really bloat you.

Wheat is a huge one. Lots of people have gluten problems and don't know it. But I know many people who cut out wheat and had the pounds just melt off of them, before even doing anything else any different.

Try cutting out anything made with wheat flour - buckwheat is ok because it's actually not related, so soba noodles would be fine, and rice, and rice noodles, and jerusalem artichoke pasta, and maybe even bread made with oat bran or any other grain as long as there's no wheat.

Sugar (white, processed sugar) is another potential issue. I'd suggest trying to cut wheat, and maybe even wheat and sugar if you can stand to do without it. Increase activity and get extra water so your body can metabolise fat better. And see what happens...
HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 6th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
I've consitered glutein allergy before. I've never been tested for it, but many people that have problems with it feel run down and sickly when they eat these products. Not nessesarily debilitatingly so, but enough that when they cut it out of the diet, they notice it. I've cut all bread/sugars/carbs/etc out before back when I did atkins, and I didn't really notice any change except that I really began to hate my favorite brand of hot dog :P
I'm not allergic to really anything, so I'm pretty sure I don't have a problem with wheat. Now, I have stopped gaining weight since I made a pointed effort over these past two years to eat more veggies and cut out refined flour as best as possible. It's very difficult to do, but I don't really eat a lot of bread/buns/etc anyway. When I do think I'm going to eat a lot of sandwiches, I always buy whole grain with nice big chunks of crap in it. I also buy whole grain pasta... but I don't really like the taste of the brands I've tried. I really don't eat much pasta at all.

I don't drink soft drinks at all anymore. I haven't had regular sugared ones in over 4 years, and I cut out all diet sodas last month. I will still take 1 regular soda or an alcoholic drink at a restaurant, but I don't really get out more than twice a month.

I'm not ready to explore sugar yet. Like I mentioned earlier, I did atkins a few years ago. I dropped quite a bit of weight, but I stopped the diet because it's not a very healthy one. My doctor says my cholesterol isn't dangerously elevated, but it's enough that he wants me to watch out for fatty foods, etc.

Honestly, I don't think I eat that badly except for when I binge on junk food. It's not an excuse, it's just there. I don't eat fast food, I don't go out that much. Over the past few years I think I've detailed my downward spiral into obeisity. I just need to try to get out of it without getting discouraged. My entire family is fat.. both sides. I was not fat when I was younger and running around the football field for 2 1/2 hours until puking and exhausted every morning. When I went to college and decided to concentrate on school instead of marching band, I lost my physical activity. When I became a social eater and my job forced me to eat when I was not hungry, my eating habits were ruined for the next decade... and the pounds piled on until I looked like the rest of my extended families. I think it's a very simple issue that is difficult to resolve.
Leica 麗香pinkspider on May 8th, 2008 03:19 am (UTC)
Good that you got off the Atkins. Regardless of what people will claim, it reeeaaally isn't healthy. And I think it's amazing that it isn't just common sense for people to know that any diet that tells you to eat all the eggs and bacon you want but you can't eat a carrot because it has carbs, can't be all that trustworthy.

Just one more thought on the wheat: Not every food sensitivity will show up as an 'allergy' in testing. I tested negative for any allergies years ago, yet when I experimented on my own I found that when I cut dairy and wheat from my diet (already being vegetarian) my weight dropped drastically, I stopped having pain every time I ate, and my asthma pretty much disappeared.

I think sometimes you might have issues that just don't show up in testing, and the only way to really find out for sure is to try different things and see what works for you. Anyway, it's good to see that you've put a lot of thought and research into this and aren't being foolish about it like so many do. Good luck with everything!
HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 8th, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
Just curious, but since you said you cut dairy, are you anovo/lacto? I knew you were a vegetarian, but I know there's varying degress of that.

Atkins... worked pretty well for me. You can have your veggies in moderation after you do the 2 week crash part, but the main thing you stay away from are refined sugars, breads, potatoes, etc. Most normal veggies have minimal sugar/carb content, but if you don't cut them out for the first two weeks, you don't kick start everything. That being said, yeah, atkins is pretty bad for you. When I crashed on that diet, I crashed pretty hard, and I binged on a lot of the things I couldn't eat while I was on it, like bread, potatoes, and icecream& chocolate. So I gained it all back over the course of 3 years or so. That's the main reason why I want to learn to control my portions a little better and cook healthier without going on a restrictive diet. I know I'll end up crashing and binging on whatever I was denying myself. I figure I can avoid the binging all together by just not denying myself the things I want, but trying to be more sensible about when and how much I eat. It's probably the same thing as dieting, but I have to trick my brain :P

I've never actually been tested for allergies. I know I sneeze a lot and have problems in general with mould.. and I used to have problems with cats& dogs, but I don't anymore. In general, aside from the weight thing, I'm overall pretty hearty XD I might have all these amazing allergies I don't even know about! hahaha
Leica 麗香pinkspider on May 12th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
Vegan. Dairy and eggs are horribly mucous-forming, and my lungs don't need that at all.
Nerdy Temptressbevo on May 6th, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
I know exactly how you feel! I've been trying to walk for at least 40-60 minutes a day, eat less fried stuff...and sweets... cut out soda..and I have dropped like 0 pounds too. I've even gone as far as to create a food journal (there is a cool one online called dailyplate.com) Also, the trainer that lives in my apartment complex said that you should do a little somethin' somethin' on your off day...cleaning the house counts if you break a sweat. Keep your chin up...Im trying to as well...
HIDE your facekyonomiko on May 6th, 2008 10:37 pm (UTC)
You can do it Bevinator T..T
No more bellydancing classes though?

I hate the whole diet website thing, really. Everyone that I've looked at is exactly the same, and they don't seem that helpful at all. I feel like none of the sites really give me a good grasp of good nutrition. It's all filled with generic positive reinforcment crap and menus of things to cook. The ones I've seen just throw out menues to you and tell you to make them, but don't tell you the breakdowns of the meals, why that meal is good for you, etc. I like to cook my own food, and I like to cook things I enjoy. I don't want to cook say.. liver& onions because the diet site says make liver& onions when I hate that crap, and I'd rather cook somthing I already enjoy, you know?
I'm still working on portion control T..T
(Anonymous) on May 6th, 2008 01:14 pm (UTC)
I belonged to ediets for almost a year online. It's cheaper than Weigh Watchers and they have a whole list of diets to choose from. They give you the diet, the shopping list and the recipies and you can print them out for the whole week. This really helped me lose. Also you might be exercising too hard. Try some walks inbetween. Ediets will tell you how many calories you need each day, pick out foods you don't like and has a food journal and forums for support. After I lost the 42 lbs, I quit. I am stuck now with 20 more to go and I am going to get out all my menus that I saved and get back to it.

I made a notebook with all the weeks diets so I can go back without rejoining. You can change diets if one isn't to your liking, Check it out. It's like about $20.00 a month and they have dieticians on staff that you can chat with if you have questions.