HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face

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That plastic surgery thing was somthing else. I felt really bad for this one woman who went to get liposuction on her legs. The wounds became gangrenous, and she almost lost her legs. The show was pretty intreresting, though. I kind of wanted to hear stories about young blondes with exploded silicon implants, but ah well....
In any case...
I fooled around in photoshop a bit earlier, but it turned out to be pretty useless. I'm a bit dissappointed in the reception my tinkerings received. It seems like I'm getting negative critisicm left and right. It's enough to make a person want to give up. Give up drawing, give up trying.. Hell, I even quit my job. For all the thinking I do, it's a sad thing that I can't make a living by it. If it were possible, I'd become a buddist monk. They get to sit and think profundity(sp) all day. Damn estrogen.
Lately.. hm.. I don't know.. I've been giving a lot of thought to my place in the world, and to religion and guilt, and lots of other things. Nearly a day doesn't go by where I don't think that being an angsty and doomed CLAMP character would be better than what I have now... if only to have some sense of purpose. I have no right whatsoever to complain about the eden I've been given, yet I turn back to pain. There was a samurai/yakuza movie with Christopher Lambert in it a few years back.. it was really very good...
And out of the whole movie, there was one scene that moved me to near tears. A woman was to be assasinated, and she struggled against her captors. They asked if she wanted to be killed quickly or slowly. I don't think I shall ever forget her answer.. She said that she would rather be killed slowly and painfully, so that she would know that she had truly lived.


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