HIDE your face (kyonomiko) wrote,
HIDE your face
kyonomiko

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Cha-cha-cha-changes.. Not a bad song.. but the commercial...

If I could be a selfish person, I'd play with time. Id keep the body I had when I as 18, the ability to get into clubs under an "adlut covercharge"--(I'll have that when I'm 21.. they charge 21+ low covers in bars, because they expect them to drink) I'd keep the freinds I have now and the freinds I had then.... I'd especially keep one....
You see, I had a great freind on the net..He and I were akin to best freinds for years... An then he got a girlfreind, and he wasn't payign as much attention to me anymore. Of course, it was not my place to say anything... but I made an ass out of myself... but still he forgave me. I had a boyfreind.. and have a boyfreind.. and for some reason, felt jealous of the fact that he wasn't paying attention to me anymore.. Later, he was diagnosed with a disease that will eventually lead him to transplant, if not death. He broke up with his girlfreind and immediately had a new one. He went to college... and he kept changing. He became sicker and didn't email anymore. He wasn't online, and when he was, I couldn't carry conversation because his girlfreind was continuously looking over his shoulder at the screen.. Hell.. she was probably sitting in his lap... So I became jealous. I have trouble tolerating him much at all now. I don't even know why I'm so jealous.. Well.. I suppose I do...but in any case.. All he does is anger me to no end.. and I hadn't realized how much he'd changed until I met a very special guy the other day who acts so much like he used to. Of course.. as I have no life... this is all on the net.. but this guy is really nifty, in every sense of the word. I don't say that because he was like my other freind.. but because he makes me laugh and even though we hardly know each other, I already think of him as a great freind. It's been a while since I've stayed in close contact with a guy freind w/o dating him. That's the best part. I don't know.. it all makes me so sad sometimes, too... It's frustrating.
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