Wow.. someone is reading my livejournal now..... who I never really expected to talk to ever again. It makes me feel really weird. I mean..I don't ever talk about him or anything.. and goodness knows the few times when I still try to show some sort of concern for him.. well.. he never replies... So why should it bother me if he stalks me and constantly reads my journal? Not a clue. It's out here in the public b/c I don't mind the general public reading my ramblings, rantings, grumblings& rumblings. But still....
I can't see how people who don't have the time to respond to my emails have time to come here and read my entries.
I hate it when I occassionally think about people who really don't deserve any more thought. Why worry myself needlessly over things I'll never know? Why bother thinking about someone when I see somthing they might like? It really irks me. Perhaps it's because they used to be such a big part of my life... and deep down, no matter how much I deny it, there's a part of me that's not used to letting go. It's annoying. Especially when they're people you don't love in THAT way, or care about in THAT way (anymore, at least).. you know.. people you know you would never end up with again.. yet deep down, somthing still gives a passing thought to him or her. Ok.. so maybe they'll read this. Will it give them some sort of passing satisfaction? I don't like it when other people win.. but is being honest really losing? I don't like to think so. I may be sappily optimistic... but I really don't think that you can get yourself into too much trouble if you tell the truth. Conspiracy theorists might dissagree with me.. but despite some of the things that have happened to me.. and some of the horrible sides of human nature I've seen.. I still beleive in the good of man. I think I've talked about this before in a previous journal entry.. but.. it's the truth, and it's somthing that I think is important...well, to me at least.
Which brings me back to stalkers, in a way.
Stalking is bad... It's bad when people have an unhealthy attachment to someone else. But do I still beleive that person is good? That's tough.. but..it's somthing I don't think I'll go into, for fear of hurting anyone's feelings.
I'm so tired...
Sometimes I feel like Moulder from the X-files. I so desperately want to beleive in somthing bigger than myself.. but ultimately.. all I really want is to know the truth.