April 9th, 2001


Mou, ii. yamete. onegai.

What do you think is your best quality? Is it physical or somthing else? Ever since I was young, I never had to deal with receiving compliments. When I started college three years ago, it actually beacme an issue. I suppose my self esteem was quite low becasue I never received any before.. but having someone approve of you.. in any way, shape or form is addictive. It feels good. It drives people to do some crazy things. Me.. one the other had... I just kept denying that there was anything good about me at all. Having someone feel like you're worthwhile is somthing special. Havign more than one person feel that way... hell..I almost grew some self-esteem. It doesn't take much to knock it down. One well-placed comment can do it in a relatively short ammount of time.
I've had people insult my drawings. I dont' care about that.. I think they suck anyway.
I've had people insult my looks, my hair,my few attempts at nail-polish...
I'm sensitive about the ammount of weight I gained when I got into school. I've even had people walk up to me and say, "Your ass is bigger than when you started working here." That hurt.. but I got over it.
The two things I can't stand are when peopel insult me for who I can't help but be, and when peopple insult the one thing about myself that I am satisfied with. I can't help that I bleed, and I used to think I was intelligent.
Do you have any idea what it feels like to be cast down into the ranks of Bitchney Spears or any other common bimbo?
Who needs freinds anyway?
  • Current Music
    Malice Mizer- Transylvania. But then again, what do I know?